It's been a long time, hasn't it, since any of us in the English-speaking world took the Eurovision Song Contest seriously? Sure, we all cuddle up on the sofa to watch the institution that brought us Abba, playing drinking games that involve necking shots of vodka every time a marginal post-Soviet republic trots out a man in spangles. It's a well-loved tradition. But with the likes of Javine being trotted out in recent years to compete on our behalf, the fact that the British Isles continue to field competitors is, at best, a bit patronising - if we really wanted to win, of course, we'd draft in Amy Winehouse.
But maybe this insouciant approach to a competition that apparently means something to the rest of the entrants will have to be rethought, after the shocking result of today's semi-finals.
With multiple wins over the years, one would think that the Irish knew what they were up against. But their entry of Dustin The Turkey, a puppet who has been singing for years, received a resounding smackdown when he (it? they?) was resoundingly knocked out of the competition with null points. Indeed, the Irish effort was judged pale even in comparison to the contributions of nations that you should not be ashamed to never have heard of, like Azerbijian.
A deserved loss? Or a strong statement from our European neighbours that they will not tolerate the epic, beloved competition being regarded as some kind of piss-take? Even one Irish Eurovision pundit expressed public disapproval of Dustin's performance, describing it as a 'three-minute joke that wasn't especially funny.'
But does the Azerbijiani singer have six albums of material released already? Dustin does. I'm sure that I'm not his only longtime fan who smells a conspiracy theory, a backlash against intentional hilarity. If I were Terry Wogan, I'd be watching my back.
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