despair: May 2008 Archives

Political "dirty tricks" have hit a new low. Yes, we all know Russia is rather quickly falling behind in the democracy stakes, but this... well, this is something else. Radiation-poisoning dissidents, murdering troublesome journalists: terrible, tragic, hard to laugh at. Menacing Kremlin critics with an air-borne phallus, it's awful, childish provocation. Yet it is still a flying dick. A cock with wings. Who could not suppress a snigger?

You might recognise Gina Yashere. As one of Britain's most well known female comedians she's hosted Gina's Laughing Gear on CBBC, and regularly pops up in places like Mock the Week, The News Quiz, and all those nostalgic clip shows where sleb talking heads reminisce about the 100 best cooking shows ever / 1992 / the 100 best clip-show countdowns ever, etc.

She's doing ok, right? But she's not a happy lady.  She's just emigrated to America, because (she says):

How long has Boris been mayor? a week? Two? Who knows. Anyway, the the best game-show host in politics has clearly been busy. What with re-signing his megabucks deal with the Torygraph and banning booze on public transport he's still found time to head down to the graphic designers. Noticed the "Mayor of London" logo on the new "Don't-Drink-on-the-Tube or We'll-Stare-at-You-Disapprovingly" advertisements? Where once the last two letters were shaded a different colour -picking out the word "on"- the logo is now all in one colour. What can this mean? Is Boris sending out subliminal messages that suggest London is no longer the swinging, cosmopolitan city of the Ken years or does he simply have an enough rubbish gimmicks of his own?

Image: Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images

Remember how we dared Al Qaeda to think old, when the police said they wouldn't be frisking any more old white ladies? Turns out it's the kids you have to watch for. Some scamp charmed his way into the cockpit of an Air France liner, and in an attempt to impress the beautiful little boy, the damnfool pilot almost killed us all.