rants: May 2008 Archives

news from the retail industry - Matthew Horne is a twat

By
Anya
on May 15, 2008 4:25 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

680-grams-pure-gold-shoe_2_49.jpgIt is a generally acknowledged fact that working in retail is utter shit. I myself learnt this from two years of Saturdays spent squashing rich bunioned feet into vile gold shoes at Russell and Bromley, while the owners of said toes treated me like an invisible peasant.

It has to be said that one clear advantage of retail is that if you serve enough rich tossers, chances are you will serve some very famous tossers at the same time. This will consequentally trouce every one of your friends' 'Ooh I saw that bloke from Eastenders in Woolworths' pub stories and for a second make you feel like you are Worth Something.

My friend, who works in a designer store, recently told me these little gems about celebrity manners, specifically those of a certain sitcom actor...

 

Continue reading news from the retail industry - Matthew Horne is a twat.

bear with me

By
Thomas
on May 10, 2008 2:14 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)
skull.jpgis a powerful spell. Chiefly used by call centre operators, it involuntarily invokes the hearer's better nature, paralysing his or her will, so they are free to inflict more timesucking magic on your helpless ass. Resistance takes Kill BIll type training.

[image from LoveSick's Flickr photostream]

the backlash starts here

By
Thomas
on May 6, 2008 5:51 PM | | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)
Julia[1].jpg

I enjoy rage-surfing the FT's conspicuous consumption rag How To Spend It as much as anyone. They've been calling their luxe hotel column 'Travelista' for a while now, but this weekend their pointless knicknack column, with the already appalling name 'Eclectibles', hailed its writer Philippa Clark as a 'consumerista'. It was enough. I wiped out. Possibly the mental image of publisher Julia Carrick (left) and assorted sycophants pitying anyone who's not scalpel-sharp opinion formers like themselves. I ran around the garden and tore the magazine to atoms. Where are the checks and balances against these ghastly, ghastly people?

So we're clear: the non-Hispanic use of 'ista' marks you out as someone who can't do anything without checking yourself out in your own mental mirror. You think it implies sassiness and sharp shoes. It actually implies the sort of shrill, demented laugh that goes on too long. [image from thewalpole.com]

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