It was a happy day for the bride and groom, a sad day for inbreeding: Peter Phillips' marriage to Autumn Kelly, a Canadian girl of modest parentage, was heralded as evidence of a new trend in the Royals spicing up the bloodlines with sub-aristos. [
Observer]In an act of bold-faced revenge against cheating husband Ashley Cole, Cheryl Cole of Girls Aloud fame has been caught on video smooching the bald pate of a bible-thumping American wannabe actor, who had
no idea who she was but did possess the foresight to film and flog their encounter. [
News of the World]
Acronym alert: environmentally-aware people with designer shoes and concerns that they carry their imported raspberries in the right hempen bags are henceforth to be known as 'Socially Conscious Upwardly Mobile Persons', or 'Scuppies'. I still prefer to call them
'Guardian readers'. [
Sunday Times]
Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty do creepy things with baby mice and are also filmed, natch, prompting the RSPCA to make a statement about the negative effect that 'strange human smells' may have on the wee innocent rodents. Amy and Pete no doubt prefer to think of themselves as 'fabulously eccentric' rather than 'strange', however, so are blameless. [
Independent on Sunday]
Noted environmental scientist (and scuppie?) Prince Charles has announced that global natural disaster will strike in eighteen months if climate change is not reversed. Thank goodness he's doing his part with those yummy sausages. [
Sunday Telegraph]